Fear is the mind-killer
by MLaw
Summary: Illya must again confront evil and the fear associated with it. pre-saga Inspired by the Litany against Fear from the book 'Dune.'


_**I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.**_  
 _ **Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.**_  
 _ **I will face my fear.**_  
 _ **I will permit it to pass over me and through me.**_  
 _ **And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.**_  
 _ **Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.**_  
 _ **Only I will remain.**_

 _ **Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear. (Dune by Frank Herbert)**_

A man stepped from the helicopter; the wind whipped up by the rotating blades blowing his shaggy bond hair. He stepped forward, carrying a small brown leather briefcase tucked under his arm.

" _Dobro pozhalovat' doktor Sporyshev,"(Welcome Comrade Doctor_ Sporyshev _),_ a Chinese officer greeted him in Russian.

" _Spasibo,_ " Illya Kuryakin replied with confidence. He was certain no one here had ever met the good doctor who's body was now floating somewhere in the China sea.

"I take it your trip was comfortable?"

"Does it really matter to you? I am here to pick up the documents and not to make small talk. Now please I wish to get going with them to Vladivostok. My comrades are waiting to continue with the late Doctor Chen's work."

The officer stiffened at Sporyshev's curtness, but these Soviets were like that, very cold and abrupt. In China there were certain proprieties observed even under Mao, but it was obvious this Russian was cultured enough to permit any of the traditional courtesies.

"Before we proceed Comrade Doctor my commanding officer wishes to meet you. Please if you will follow me?"

This was a delay Kuryakin wasn't expecting but there was nothing he could do about it.

"Just get it over with and get on with the mission," he told himself.

Illya was led to a nearby building, to the office of the commanding officer he presumed.

As he entered, a man sitting at a desk looked up at him; his eyes suddenly going wide with surprise.

" _Der'mo (shit!)_ Illya cursed to himself as he recognized him. It was General Qiu Huojin; he and Napoleon had tangled with him less than a year ago and barely survived to tell the tale.

Leaping to his feet and pointing an accusing finger, the General shouted in Chinese to the guards _. "Dàibǔ nàgè nánrén! Tā shì yīgè jiàndié, nǐ zhège shǎguā! (arrest that man! He is a spy you fool!)_ Illya knew exactly what he'd said.

It took but a split second for Kuryakin to reach into the back of his jacket collar where he kept his throwing knife and launched it at Qiu, hitting him right in the throat, instantly killing him.

Illya heard two weapons cock in succession. There was the 'pfffft' of a silenced gun being fired followed by a dull thud.

He turned facing one of the guards. Standing there was Lin Siyu, a mole sent under deep cover by UNCLE.

"You okay Mr. Kuryakin?"

"Yes Agent Lin, thank you. I suggest we find those documents and get out of here before this incident is discovered."

"Yes sir." Lin and Illya began searching the room and surprisingly the needed papers were right there on the General's desk, though they were now splattered with blood.

Illya quickly tucked them into his briefcase, waving for Lin to follow him out the door. "I suggest you leave with me as it is going to become even more dangerous here."

"But shouldn't I stay…"

"No, that is an order. Now, tell the guard outside at the end of the corridor that the General does not wish to be disturbed under any circumstances as he.. _.he_ is going to be speaking on the telephone to Chairman Mao Zedong."

Lin relayed the message, as coming from him it would appear legitimate.

"Yes sir, I understand sir," the young soldier saluted him, apparently feeling honored at being given such privileged information.

Kuryakin and Lin left the building, heading straight to the chopper and in minutes they were airborne.

"Why didn't you want me to stay here Mr. Kuryakin?" Lin asked.

"Once they discovered the General was dead, and you were one of the last people to see him alive; you most likely would have been brought up on charges as perhaps my co conspirator and summarily Chinese generally do not waste time with a trial when it comes to a traitor and UNCLE could not have that. I got what I came for and with the General dead, there was no need for you remain undercover. You will need to be debriefed as soon as we make it to Tokyo.

The young operative seemed somewhat disappointed at his assignment being cut short.

"Lin you did a good job in there, Mr. Waverly will be pleased. Without your intel we would not have known the documents where abouts, or about Dr. Sporyshev arriving to take possession of them."

"Mr. Kuryakin…"

"Please call me Illya."

"Why did you kill the General? He could have been darted, isn't that the preferred UNCLE policy?"

"Yes it is, but in this case I was not about to become General Qiu's prisoner again. The last time I was in that most painful situation with him, I nearly died. I know you are well aware that he was a ruthless...no, a heartless man who stop at nothing to achieve his goals. As a member of THRUSH, he had aspirations to become head of their Council. If that had ever been permitted to take place, our feathered adversaries would have become even deadlier than they are now. So think of my disposing of Qiu Huojin as a preemptive strike."

"Oh..."

"Are you a Buddhist Liu?"

"I was raised in that religion, so yes."

"I am sure then you are aware there are many versions of the story of the Buddha and Mara, the demon personification of doubt, fear, temptation. He was constantly trying to distract the Buddha from reaching enlightenment. When the Buddha would notice Mara lurking nearby; he would not run from him or fight him. Instead, the Buddha would have tea prepared and invite Mara to sit with him. In other words, the Buddha did not deny the presence of fear, pain and temptation; he acknowledged them and asked them to sit with him and talk."

"Wow I didn't think you were a religious man Illya."

"I am not, but the lesson to be had from the story is to learn to confront one's fears, that is they point I am making to you."

There was a moment of silence between the two men until the Russian spoke again.

"Tell me have you ever been tortured Lin?"

"No Mr...Illya. So far I've been lucky enough not to have experienced that, and hope I never will."

"I will warn you to mentally prepare yourself for it as one day it will happen to you. It is a hazard of working in the world of espionage, that and death. It is a frightening thing but you must face your fear of it and not let it consume you. It can eat away at your mind, making you weak and in the end, vulnerable."

"Were you afraid of the General?"

"I would be lying to you if I said I was not, but at the same time I have learned not to let my fears control me. I control them."

"Wow, you must really be brave."

"Brave, or foolish perhaps." Kuryakin winked before crossed his arms in front of himself and closed his eyes. He needed to sleep and hoped having seen the General again would not dredge up any nightmares of their last meeting. As always Illya would deal with his dreams, sending his fears away, banishing them until they became nothing, still he disliked waking up in a cold sweat. That was a bodily response he hadn't quite figured out how to control.

Yet like the demon Mara, his fears always returned, still trying to haunt him. They were relentless in that. When all was said and done, he'd defeat them again and again, dismissing his fears...for the most part.

Is a man ever truly free of them?


End file.
